


The Secret Ingredient

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps, jacksepticeye
Genre: Cooking, F/M, First Kisses, Getting Together, Humor, Open Relationships, Polyamory Negotiations, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 04:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17016102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Holly teaches Jack some kitchen techniques, but soon those aren’t the only skills of his that she requires.





	The Secret Ingredient

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheseusInTheMaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/gifts).



“How do you know how to make a cake without it falling apart?”

Holly watched Jack lean over the enormous bowl filled with brownie batter. She’d been making a batch of her special vegan recipe, complete with mashed pumpkin substituting for the fat in the recipe. She gently pulled him back and he blushed. “Be really careful! I don’t want to get beard in my brownies.”

“I’ve got you!” he said. “But how do you do it?”

“Well,” she said. “My trick’s a lot of apple sauce.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Applesauce? Won’t you taste it?”

“Nope!” she grinned. “Unless you highlight it the other, stronger flavors will take over for it.”

Jack considered her words with due diligence. “Well, I could always buy brownies if I have to. I’m filthy rich, after all!”

She broke out laughing at his silliness. Okay, maybe Jack was worth the value of her whole house, and maybe they didn’t have anything much to do most days but try to make the internet like them better, but Holly thought five seconds of time in Jack’s company was worth forty minutes sitting next to anyone else.

It was interesting to think of it that way, but it was 100 percent true. He was a highlight of her days and some part of her wanted him to be the highlight of her nights. But she looked and Jack and yeah – she could see it, envision it as plain as day, him being with her on a more permanent basis.

But she wasn’t going to press him for more. They were baking buddies. Baking buddies didn’t have to do anything but trade recipes, give each other help with their fat replacements, and consume huge batches of cookies over coffee. They weren’t for making out with, or becoming boyfriends with. 

Holly reminded herself of that for the millionth time as the kitchen timer dinged and she grabbed a heat pad. Jack hovered excitedly as she placed the pan filled with brownies on the oven, then left them to set on the counter. She set the timer, planning to slice them and let them cool on the rack.

“How did you learn how to bake this well?” he asked out of curiosity. “I’ve always wanted to know.”

“Jack, you’re a great cook,” she said.

“A great cook, not a great baker,” he said. “I’m all thumbs when it comes to sugar!”

“I can teach you that at least. And how to work with date sugar, coconut sugar…beet sugar.” His eyes widened in alarm. “Back to your question,” Holly said. “I always had to take care of myself when I was a kid. So I started cooking things I liked. Things just kind of developed from there.”

Jack gave her a thoughtful nod. “I wouldn’t have guessed that was why. Supposing it does make a lot of sense, when you’re stuck living on your own a lot.”

She smiled. “And you never had that?”

He shook his head, laughed. “Too many brothers and sisters underfoot,” he said. “I had to be careful to make sure they didn’t fall into the oven, Grimm style.”

“Well, that’s not morbid at all!” she teased him, and he instantly looked abashed at his own choice of words.

“Well, I didn’t mean to sound…” he shook his head. “In any event, I wasn’t allowed to use the stove much. So I became more of a countertop cooking fella.”

Holly nodded. “Well, while you’re here I’d be happy to teach you!”

“I’d be happy to learn!” he replied. And there was something super contagious about Jack’s enthusiasm; suddenly he was helping her with the dishes, pouring out the milk. She let him do what he wanted to do – she was exhausted, and wanted to take a trip outside to commune with the pigeons soon. People were hard work, and sometimes she tended to just collapse.

She knew it was her fear, her anxiety, that was pulling all of her strings, but at this point she didn’t care. When her anxiety was in charge, it was the chief principle driving force in her life, and she had to take care of it. If that meant hiding under the covers, it meant hiding under the covers and closing her eyes.

But things weren’t getting to that point. Yet.

The timer went off, and she sliced the brownies up. She found vanilla rice milk in the fridge, and Jack broke into Ross’ stash of Real Milk. They sipped their drinks and took a bite.

Holly judged them a little bit better than the black bean ones she’d made earlier.

*** 

Jack ate four of them before piling into the Uber that would take him back to Arin and Suzy’s house, where he was staying while things remained unsettled for him. Caught somewhere between England and the US, between great ecstasy and loneliness, there was a reason why he wanted Holly to teach him how to cook. He wanted the distraction. Indeed, he was nearly begging for it while trying to figure his life out.

Holly understood better than anyone what that felt like. The suspension, the fall. 

No wonder she felt so comfortable around him.

Ross knew exactly what to say when he came through the door with his tablet and a case of beer, kissing her between the eyes while she was soapy with dishwashing liquid. “How did your date with Jack go?”

She scoffed. “That was not a date, Ross.”

“You were alone with him and a bowl of brownie batter. That’s _intimate_ in Holly land.” 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re more into me getting some love from this than you getting some.”

He snorted. “It’s easy for me. All I have to do is just faceplant in Arin’s lap for a couple of minutes…”

“Ross. I don’t want to even picture that.”

“I know!” he chirped, and kissed her chin. She didn’t push him away, a laugh bubbling at the back of her throat. Being with Ross was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. No wonder the poly thing felt so weird. No wonder it was easy to just get her arms around his neck and cling for awhile.

But why, then was she even flirting with Jack over baked goods? She shouldn’t even be trying, if she was happy. _Arin and Ross are doing this,_ she reminded the leaping, quaking ball of nerves that were her stomach. _Don’t be scared that you don’t know what you’re doing at first. In the end it’s going to be worth it._

She went back to finishing dinner, and listening to Ross suck down more brownies. 

***

Jack was hanging out with Mark – because what other option did he have on an overheated LA night like this? – and they were standing in front of a café downtown. Miraculously not being recognized, but also miraculously getting good service without having to grease some palms. Mark had eaten a chocolate croissant, and Jack had eaten an entire meal of tostadas and beer with sloppy eagerness. He was having a brownie sundae for dessert and Mark was lazily enjoying the warm night air. They had been chatting nonstop about everything and nothing at the exact same time. That was how their friendship ran, and he was used to it after so many years.

Mark said suddenly, “Jack – may I change the subject? Maybe? Just a little?”

“Good God. Have I been that much of a gibbermouth?!

“No. Well, you have been talking about Holly’s brownies for four hours,” he said. “Four hours, I’ve counted every single second that’s passed by and it’s definitely been a long time.”

Jack simply blinked at him for a moment. He certainly didn’t feel like he’d been talking about them for so long, but he supposed that his mouth had been running for an extensive length of time. “It probably hasn’t been that long,” Jack insisted. “It’s been seconds, nay, perhaps hours since I have let Holly Conrad’s name dance upon my tongue.”

“Wow. Amazingly poetic for a man who has frozen yogurt dripping from his chin.”

Jack blotted his face with a pink paper napkin. “I had a good time with her,” he said. “And I just wanted to tell you how much fun we had, but since you’re being all persnickety…”

“I’ve never been persnickety in my life!” he said. “I have not pursed! I do not snicket! And wait, are you crushing on Holly?” 

“I’m not…well…” Jack shook his head. “It doesn’t matter if I am! She’s married and she’s very happy with Ross.”

“So you don’t know about their open relationship?”

“Actually, I did,” he flushed. “She talked about it today. She seems to be…well, not struggling with it but trying to get her bearings. It’s a good enough chance to go to Portland for the weekend while Ross is dating.” He didn’t make fingerquotes in the air, because he was classy that way and didn’t want to look like too much of a goof. “So we spent a little time hanging around and vibing.”

“Did you just say vibing?” Mark asked him. “Of course you did.”

“Don’t be sassing me, sass man!”

“Hey, I’m the sassiest ding dong on the whole dang planet!” Mark said. They were snickering by the time the check came. They were, so to speak, titans of their industry – put them alone for a few minutes, though, and they turned into a couple of little kids teasing each other. They walked back to Mark’s car, and then climbed inside. He took the time to grab his phone and text Amy, and Jack stared out the front window, wondering when the heck he’d have a significant other to annoy with goofy memes and dumb selfies.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t had dates, or good long term relationships, but lately he’d been feeling a little empty. Since his last relationship had gone kaput, the idea of being with a woman who didn’t get what this level of fame could do to a person left him cold. He needed to be with a girl who’d understand that sometimes their lives would be out of his control. Extraordinary, but completely out of his control.

For example, the teenager who just threw herself screeching against the passenger side door, howling that she loves him – that was an unexpected feature of fame.

“GAH!” Mark reached for the keys, but Jack was already opening the door.

Being nice, after all, had gotten them where they were now.

*** 

Holly had Feathers in her lap, one finger scratching him under the chin as she scanned her text messages. It was a tranquil and quiet Sunday, and all she really wanted to do was keep sipping tea and let the world pass by before getting to her workshop and starting to pack up Etsy orders.

Then her messages chirped at her, and there was Jack, asking if he could come over to test-drive her new VR machine. She glanced over at the thing where it sat in a wire-laden tangle by the TV set; she hadn’t thought about it since she and Ross had moved in, and now that she was presented with the idea of having to do everything herself to make it functional.

“Can you stop by and help me set it up?” she wrote. “I’ll pay you in chicken nuggets.”

“Holly dear, I doubt that you have chicken in your house.”

Holly chuckled at his response. “I might not have any here now, but if you’re good to me I can find something you’ll really like.”

“Nah, I’ll eat your veggie stuff and I’ll like it!” he said.

“That sounds like I’m torturing you. Eating my food isn’t like being set on fire!”

“Didn’t say it was, Holly Dolly.”

She giggled. Oh sweet goddess; she was turning into one of those girls, giggling at the cute successful boy hovering around her like a bee looking to land somewhere sweet-smelling and delicious. She winced at the ridiculousness of her own reaction. Was this what courtship and flirtation were like? IT had been years since she’d experienced either, and frankly she didn’t know if she understood or trusted her own instincts on the flirting floor. She and Ross, after all, had stumbled into a relationship almost by accident. She definitely hadn’t meant to become his wife when they’d spent time mocking each other fondly at conventions. But here she was, years later, trying to open up her life. Goddess knew how well that was going to work for her. 

“So I’ll see you in a few hours?”

“Absolutely. With bells on.”

She shook her head, smiling as she hung the phone up. He was, as always, someone completely unlike the people who watched him thought he was. Jack was more special, somehow. Glittering like a far-off diamond but approachably real. She knew that she was the opposite – closed off, a little fearful because of the weight of her anxiety. People had a tendency to be gentle with her in response, to speak to her like she was small or soft or delicate – she hated that. She just wanted to be seen as a regular human being, something that was impossible when people thought you were going to collapse into an anxiety attack at any moment. She knew herself and knew that she could be fragile – but also strong as a stone mountain. The stone mountain side of her soul was rarely, if ever, acknowledged by others.

She sighed and looked again at the living room. Ross was going to be busy for the next few hours streaming at the office. She might as well get things neatened up and make something for Jack. 

Holly was good at understanding many things about being friends with Jack – strong hints were just one of those things.

**** 

Mark dropped him off at Holly’s place with a wink. That he even thought winking was appropriate almost made Jack elbow him in the ribs, but he wanted to get out of the car and into the house as soon as possible – it was chilly out there, and the dark clouds hovering over his head portended rain. 

Holly ran to the door when he knocked. She was wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with birds in flight, and her cheeks were smeared with streaks of flour. When he leaned in for a careful, chaste hug, he caught a strong whiff of mustard on her skin. The bits of flour rubbed off on the shoulder of his jacket.

“Hello, Holly – you smell delicious.”

Awkward. She laughed. “I had the extra time, so I ran to the market and back. I’m breading your tenders right now…”

“Can I help, please?”

“But…”

He shrugged. “The least I can do for disturbing your afternoon so I can fool around with your sweet VR set-up.”

Holly smiled. “All right. I’ll show you how to do it.”

“How hard can it be?” Jack scoffed. “You just toss them about in various eggy substances and shove them in the oven.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You have never had to make your own tenders. I can see it from the look in your eyes.” 

“I happen to be awesomely experience in doing things with chicken…no, damn it, that sounds so wrong!” She had burst into giggles before the words had finished exiting his lips, and Jack crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at her, one eyebrow up. “Please, Holly, teach me how to make chicken strips, and I’ll never bother you for another chicken-related thing as long as I live!”

Holly grinned. “Well, since you asked me so nicely I suppose that I can teach you.”

His eyes brightened right up and he watched her eagerly as she poured panko crumbs into a shallow dish, and then seasoned them. Into a second, she quickly put almond milk, honey mustard, and egg substitute. 

“Wash these for me?” she asked, holding out a tray of skinless, boneless chicken bits for him.

He saluted her and took the tray, rinsing it under the tap in cool water then patting it dry. With a wince, she took the chicken bits, dunked them, and then rolled them in the crumbs. After another dip, she asked him to grab a Pyrex dish from the closet, and sprayed it over with cooking spray. The strips were sprayed, too, and then stuck in the oven. 

“Want to go see if your head fits in our VR helmet?” Holly teased, as they fought for control of the soap, the spout.

“I’m not that Oirish,” he teased her, extending the word, letting her know he wasn’t really offended. Together they walked to the living room. 

*** 

His head did indeed fit in the rig, though unsurprisingly Ross’ two main purchases for the unit so far were Virtual Mario Maker and Super Fruit Ninja. But Jack could play those games; he’d done it a million times before. Soon he was shouting and cursing, trying to balance the hunks of grapes on the point of his invisible sword.

“Are you having fun?” Holly asked.

“It’s not bad,” he voted. “But it’d be more fun if you joined me!”

“Are you sure you can fit me in?”

“Isn’t that what she said? Whoever ‘she’ is,” Jack asked.

There was a soft snort from Holly. “All right, give me a little bit more space,” she said.

He moved back and gave her room to wiggle into position beside him with her own headgear and paddle, and switched over to a two-player game. They stood shoulder to shoulder and, cackling, began to slice fruit. 

The messiness was, thankfully, all in their minds. She speared a pineapple and found herself launching herself into his side and he laughed.

“Clumsy,” he said.

“Not that clumsy!” She said. “You just missed ten apples!”

“Allow me!” He swept her aside, they worked together, she reached up hard and quickly for the rain of oranges dripping over their heads…

…And she tumbled backward, head over heels, right into Jack’s grip.

“Oops!” he said. “Well, hello there. I don’t suppose you know where I left that last pear!”

“Jack!” She laughed. “NO!” she squeaked, as oranges and cherries rained down over her head.

“We’ll get ’em in the next round! Don’t worry!” Back on her feet, panels in her hands, Holly thought to herself that she was going to end up taking the long way onto her back from this angle. There was too little space and they kept rubbing sides and bumping elbows.

Which wasn’t awkward at all. Man, she could feel the sweat collecting at the back of her neck. This weird is-or-is-Jack-not-my-boyfriend feeling kept bubbling up in her. She had every right and permission and yet…

She squeaked and speared a watermelon before it hit him between the eyes. 

“Good work!” he laughed. And oh, was it easy to laugh, to just let go and let herself be this happy when they were together. They passed two rounds by together happily before Jack called off and asked if she’d like a little pint. The chicken fingers dinged, and she gave him those with ketchup and a little serving of corn, concentrating herself on the fries and sipping some of Ross’ stash while trying to avoid thinking too much about what they’d just experienced.

“These are amazing,” he said. He’d likely have said that if she’d served him dirt on a plate; bless Jack’s heart. 

“You did most of the work,” she pointed out. They may have shared the experience of cooking together but she did want to build his kitchen confidence, no matter how much prior experience he had. 

“We shared it,” he insisted. “The spoils were ours together to share.”

Well, she couldn’t fight him on that point. “I suppose they were,” she agreed. “But you did a good job.”

“As did you.” And he insisted on being the one to do the dishes when they were done.

When Ross came home he found the two of them on the sofa together, talking casually, laughing at the goofy episode of Bob’s Burgers Holly had flicked on. He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Holly, who unsubtly flipped him off behind Jack’s head.

He may have been right, but being smug about it was pretty inexcusable. 

**** 

“So when are you going to ask him if he wants to go on a date?” Ross asked.

“Ross, I just started spending time alone with the guy. I can’t press him into doing things like that out of the blue.”

“You only have a few days before he goes back to England,” Ross said. He closed his eyes and leaned against the pillows, letting Orph catball himself against his chest. “Unless you wanna do the whole cyber romance thing.”

She curled up against his shoulder. “That worked out pretty well for us,” she pointed out.

“It did,” he said cheerfully. “But whatever you do with Jack – just like everything I’m doing with Arin - is going to be different.”

“I know,” she said. She didn’t want to think of the past or the future when she was relaxing in his arms like this. She yawned and burrowed a little deeper into his embrace.

Everything was going to be different. He was a hundred percent right about that. But that was the scary part. The part that left her scared. The feeling of jumping into a pool without feeling where the bottom of the pool was. It was a fearful freefall. She felt as if she would never be able to please Jack and she’d never figure out what to do.

But when sleep claimed her, Ross squeezed her about the waist.

It was a reminder that she wasn’t alone –that she could do whatever task she set out to do, romantic or not. And that was the part that she’d forgotten. 

They’d have one another for as long as they dared to seize love itself.

*** 

Jack arrived the next day to take her to the beach, where they walked together in the sunlight for a few hours, their milky skin baking under the hot sunlight, and their eyes squinting against the powerful rays of the sun. He felt solid beside her – tall and good, and giggling happily between jokes.

Holly loved the beach. Nothing meant more to her than the pounding sound of the surf hitting the shoreline; the natural world and the creatures in it gave her life true purpose and true meaning. Without them who was she? No one. Cetainly no one worth being looked at with such admiring eyes as the ones Jack was flashing at her.

Was she flashing them back? He did look good in his surf shorts. She didn’t need to wonder if she looked as beautiful to her from the hungry way he scanned her body, he was definitely enjoying the view. Holly felt almost embarrassed by the lust she evoked from him; she wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about being appreciated that way, and It both made her want to hide and to preen. But Jack didn’t make any gestures, and she didn’t make any assumptions. The surf was high and the sun was warm. They spent all day playing at being lovers, touching the tips of their fingers together, running into the ocean holding hands. But she didn’t kiss him. He didn’t kiss her.

They pretended their closeness was nothing more than friendship, and together walked back to the car. Sand squashed between Holly’s toes, and she could still taste the sunlight on the tip of her tongue. 

A successful day, a step closer to romance –but she had no idea if he was interested in her at all. If he’d ever be interested in being with her.

Or if she’d have the chance to try again with him.

 

*** 

Jack spent an inordinately long amount of time alone in the shower that night. If Mark noticed that there was an abnormally large amount of shampoo missing from the bottle, he didn’t say anything. 

He also didn’t say anything when Jack spent most of the afternoon stumbling around in a half-daze. They made it through recording their crossover, but Mark was clearly and obviously annoyed He didn’t dare tell Jack that he was upset, though. Not until they were at an arcade together and a particularly wide yawn caused him to nearly bean Mark in the forehead with a puck.

He clutched his face, all humor drained from his expression. “Jack, stop spending all day yanking your dick over Holly and sleep!”

“Well, that’s a crude one.” 

“I could hear you last night! You were groaning! You weren’t saying her name but I could hear your shapeless butt banging into the wall!” 

Jack’s cheeks turned bright red. “Why didn’t you tell me?!” 

Mark threw up his arms and started ranting at an amazingly fast speed. “What am I gonna do?! ‘Stop masturbating in my ridiculously huge and luxurious shower over our married friend, Jack, I’m picturing stuff I don’t want to picture?!”

“All right, I hear ya! Don’t pop a gasket over it!”

Mark grabbed the bottle of soda he’d been sipping and pressed it against his forehead. “Too late! My gaskets are ‘a ‘poppin’!”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Jack asked. 

“Well, as I said yesterday – get off your butt and go talk to her! If you make it weird then you make it weird. Holly’s a smart, nice, grown-up woman and she’ll probably talk about it with you! But if you never get off your butt and actually ask her what she wants, you’ll never find out and I’m gonna run out of shampoo!”

“All right!” Jack said. “I’m a strong, independent man who doesn’t need no urging! I’ll go!” He paused. “After you do me a favor?”

“What?!” Mark asked.

“Can you give me a lift to her place?”

 

*** 

Holly had been staring at her cell phone for four hours when it rang and nearly scared the heck out of her. Picking it up, she immediately fell back against her bed with a surprised grunt. “Hello?” she asked.

“Hello, Hol! It’s still Jack!” his voice was almost chirpy. “I have a few hours before my plane’s going t take off, I don’t suppose you’d like to hang out?”

“Yes!” She coughed. “I’ll be free.”

“Are you sick?” 

“No!” she said. “Just…never mind. I’ll order you pizza, we can rent a movie. Does that sound good?”

“Sounds amazing,” he said. She couldn’t ignore the soft tone in his voice and smiled. 

“All right, see you.”

Before he came over she actually fussed with her make-up. That was something she never did for anyone, even Ross. She put on a fresh sweater and tried to rinse the smell of bird and cat off of her. Her hands were shaking slightly, and she reminded herself to breathe, to relax.

Then there was a knock on the door and she had to suck air through her nose to keep herself from squawking. Jack was standing there with his hands in his pockets, and she knew that her expression was a little wild, a little desperate, but she quickly said that he was welcome.

“The pizza hasn’t gotten here yet,” she said. “Let’s sit down and pick a movie while we wait!”

“Okay!” he flopped down on the couch and found the remote. She sat down at a careful distance. He scrolled through the listing four more times before he finally landed on something that looked appealing.

He caught her watching him and they quickly averted their eyes, as if they’d been burned by the contact. Holly coughed and locked eyes on the ceiling. Jack kept staring at the tv set until they movie’s opening credits began.

“I don’t know if…” he began, but was immediately cut off by the front doorbell ringing. The pizza man was quick to take his thick tip and leave his wares behind. Holly took a slice and was halfways through eating it when she realized she was having straight-up cheese.

“Ugh,” she said. 

“Oh fuck, I should’ve gotten something more dairy free for you,” he said.

“But the pizza was so good!” she said. “I guess cheating just once won’t hurt anything.” What she’d just said caught in her mind and throat, and she coughed gently. Jack whapped her lightly on the back and she spared him a smile.

“Jack…” she started to say.

“What is it, Hol?” he asked.

“I…” she began.

“What?” he asked.

She drifted a little closer to him. Pushing the cushions over and sitting a little closer. They quietly shared their body heat. “You know,” she said, “um…Ross and I have an agreement, don’t you? He’s dating Arin right now, and I was thinking…”

Jack wasn’t breathing, but he was leaning in intently. 

“Would you like to kiss me?” she asked.

He did. Her cheek.

She turned deliberately toward his lips, until they were mouth to mouth.

The first contact was completely electric and she was blown away by the sensation. All the playful tension between the two of them exploded. She threw her arms around him and kissed him in ernest.

Minutes passed by, their hearts violently throbbing as one. And then they had to come up for air.

She watched him for a few minutes before diving back in.

 

*** 

The pizza went cold and the soda went flat before they finally broke apart and shut the movie off. 

“We have to pace ourselves,” he said. “You’ll be making me cream in the jeans of my dreams!”

She snorted at that reference. “Come on,” she said. “I can’t be that exciting!”

“Well, you are. And my flight is in an hour, which won’t do justice to your beauty.”

She kissed his cheek. “Okay, Mark will be here….” She trailed off as a horn honked in the drive. “Go. Run to him. Just keep texting me.”

Jack grinned…and adjusted his jeans. Then he quickly headed out the door when Mark honked.

By the time Ross came home she was grinning and rubbing the spot where Jack had kissed her.

And he kissed another spot on the back of her neck. She felt totally hammocked by his love, totally satisfied and free as he felt being with Arin.

Loving two guys at once and having them love her back? Well, that was the best miracle she knew.


End file.
